Real Life Advice – Dealing with a Bridezilla

This week my real life advice column is going to address one of those issues that strikes fear into the heart of people everywherere… In-laws. The combining of two families can be a complicated process, especially when it starts out with the new member being a Bridezilla.

Real Life Advise - What can you do about a Bridezilla?

Dear Exasperated,

Oh in-laws. We all have them, and they can make life a challenge sometimes. I think this is an especially touchy situation because it is going to set the tone for all future dealings with your new sister-in-law.

I believe that a wedding should be about two families joining together, not just the bride and groom. I also believe that every woman deserves to have her dream wedding (within her means). I don’t think “dream wedding” goes so far as to where people sit, especially when it is parents of small children.

You have three options. You can go along with her crazy idea and regret it and feel bitter toward her for a long time about it. Because let’s face it, this is how those annoying little things with family members get started. Or option number two, you can hire a babysitter and just choose not to have your children at the wedding. Or option number three, you can tell her no.

If you decide to go with option number three, which is probably the one I would choose, email or call her and tell her that you understand that all of the wedding details are extremely important to her, and that you remember how stressed you were about all of those things on your wedding day; however, it is not possible for you to sit separately from your children and that you will need your husband to be with you. And if she doesn’t agree? Well, then do it anyway.

Here’s the thing, you know what it is like to get married and feel that rush of excitement and stress. She does not know what it is like to be the mother of small children. One day, maybe, she will look back on this and realize how ridiculous she was being. If she hasn’t already forgotten about it.

I think this is the time you set the tone for the rest of your relationship with this person. What position do you want to hold in that relationship?

Hope this helps,

Jennifer

More Real Life Advice:
Our Children’s Friends
Just One More Baby
My Mom Is Getting Remarried

Have you got a question, problem, or situation where you’d like a little guidance or an independent opinion? Leave me a comment or send me an email. All questions will be kept anonymous unless you specify otherwise. Don’t want me to know that it’s YOU asking the question. Set up a generic email address with Yahoo or Gmail and ask away.

Disclaimer: Advise This is a real life advice column that I started at the encouragement of a few friends. Read more to find out what it is all about. I am not a licensed therapist or professional advice giver. All thoughts and opinions are my own and should only be considered anecdotal. Any physical or mental harm that comes from taking my advice is on you.

Comments

  1. I had to hold my breath when I started reading this – because I have very strong feelings about it. Not in a million years would I have gone with option 1 – but I would have considered option 2, because looking back ,I can honestly say that I did not enjoy going to any parties or functions with my kids when they were that young…
    Great advice, Jen!
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  2. I agree with you, Jennifer. I’d go with option 3, or not attend the wedding at all. It’s totally unreasonable to separate children that young from their parents, regardless of the reasons.
    Alison recently posted…Through The Lens Thursday #8: WindowMy Profile

  3. I’m really curious as to why the sister-in-law is doing the seating this way. There must be some reason. I’d hesitate to choose an option without knowing that reason.

  4. Wow…dealing with some relatives are hard enough. But soon-to-be ones? Uh, no.

    You’re right. Set the tone now. If you’re a pushover now…you’ll be a pushover later.
    Carrie recently posted…I’m going back to my single ways because I’m done and I’m tired and I’m totally over it. And so are my skirts.My Profile

  5. Option 3 for the win! I would definitely want to sit with my family. However, if I were a bridesmaid and there was one of those long tables in the front for the bridal party and the bride and groom, I think I would understand.
    Brittany recently posted…Vintage Sheet Music Art TutorialMy Profile

  6. Do these children have to be at the wedding? Is this mom in the wedding?

    When my kids were 3 and 1 I might have jumped at the chance to sit separately from them during a wedding reception and let the other adults manage them, but of course my kids would be at my side the whole time anyway. I would let my soon-to-be SIL know that there would be no point in separating us. And then I would go with option #2.
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  7. It is so tricky when we are setting the tone for a future relationship. I agree with you, Jennifer. It is better to talk about things now, before they multiply. I would want to sit with my young children, and therefore my husband, too.

  8. What a ridiculous request! I’ve never heard of not sitting a married couple together. Ask the bride if she wants to sit without her new husband at the next wedding they go to together. I am guessing not. And the kids away from their mom? Yeah, that’s just stupid. I would tell her if you want my children there then they are sitting with ME.
    Elaine A. recently posted…I’ve Got ThisMy Profile

  9. This is such good advice, as always. As much as I want to say how crazy this bride is being, I remember making some stupid decisions just out of ignorance. Let’s hope she will grow older and wiser.
    Lady Jennie recently posted…The One Jesus LovesMy Profile