Women talk. We talk about our fears, our hurts, our irrational, our kids, our husbands, our needs, our wants… Everything. And over the years I’ve learned that there is something the majority of all women want. We want three days. And men of the world, I’m going to make it easy for you and tell you what that means.
I hear all the time that women are hard to understand and that men have a hard time figuring out what we want. I’m going to make it really, super simple for you. We want three days. We want our birthday, Mother’s Day, and our anniversary.
We want those three days to be ALL.ABOUT.US.
We don’t want to do laundry. We don’t want to pay bills. We don’t want to bathe children. We don’t want to run errands. We don’t want to wipe anyone’s pee off the toilet seat and/or the floor. We don’t want to replace the empty paper towel or toilet paper roll. We don’t want to sweep, mop, vacuum, dust, or scrub anything. We don’t want to load the dishwasher. We don’t want to get the kids dressed for school or sign permission slips or help with homework. We don’t want to watch the Disney channel, Nickelodeon, or sports (unless we’re really into them). For just those three days.
But here is the really, really important part. ALL of those things? They all still need to be done on those three days. For those three days we want YOU to do those things. We don’t want you to yell at the kids or get frantic or complain. We just want you to do it. Without expecting a thank you, a pat on the back, or sex in return.
And if you want to plan something special for us, that’s awesome too. We love being treated like we’re special. BUT we don’t want to cook. We don’t want to plan what we are going to eat. We don’t want to plan where we are going to eat. We don’t want to tell you what kind of cake we like. And yes, we want cake. We don’t want to tell you what we want as a gift or even if we want a gift. We don’t want to tell you to take the kids to pick out a little something and a card.
Because really, honestly, and truly it is not about the gift. The thing in the wrapping. It is about the thought that you put into it. We want you to KNOW where or what we like to eat. We want you to know what kind of cake we like. Or pie or cookie or whatever our favorite dessert is. We want you to KNOW what we want. Not what we need. Do not buy us appliances as gifts unless we specifically show you the item and say, “buy this for my birthday/mother’s day/anniversary.” We want you to show our children that we are special and deserving.
Why do we want/not want these things? Because that tells us you’ve been paying attention the other 362 days of the year. It tells us that we matter. It tells us that you love us through actions and not just words.
Look, women do a lot of stuff. Stuff that you probably don’t even realize that we do like doctor appointments, teeth cleanings, 504 meetings and on and on. And we never, ever put ourselves first. I don’t know one mom that does her laundry before her families. Most moms I know would walk around in dirty undies before letting a child out of the house in unwashed clothes. That’s just what we do. We love. We care take. We nurture. And we do it without complaint. (Mostly. None of us are perfect.)
But these three days? We want someone to take care of us for these three days.
I have two really hilarious friends, Jessica and Debbie, that have a production company, Two Funny Brains. They make the most hilarious YouTube videos. You should totally check them out and subscribe. This one was so spot on with this post that I had to include it.
And one more thing, this post is written tongue-in-cheek. Mostly. I know that there are husbands out there getting it right. I have a friend whose husband brings her random gifts. Things she really wants. And he knows what she really wants because he pays attention. David is a great husband. He contributes to our household, not just by working, but by helping out around the house. I wouldn’t trade him for the world. But still… he doesn’t do what I do. And I don’t know any dad that pulls the weight of the mom. Mostly we’re okay with that. I mean, we are the moms. Think about what that really means for a minute. THE MOM. It’s kind of a big deal. Mostly, we just want to know we’re appreciated and valued. And for you to load the freakin’ dishwasher without being asked.