Those of you that have been reading for awhile know that I struggle with my weight. Over the years, diet has become a four letter word for me. Not only in the literal sense, but also the profane.
Losing weight has been an almost constant battle for me. I started gaining weight in high school, and then slowly over the years I have added on the pounds. I’ve followed more diet plans that I can remember. Today I’m vlogging about some of those plans and what I think about them (sorry for the choppiness, some serious editing went into this video).
See video here.
Here’s the thing… when I try and don’t succeed, I feel like a failure, which causes me to spiral even more out of control with my eating. I turn to food for a lot of different reason, because I’m hungry, because I’m frustrated, because I’m sad, because I’m stressed, because I’m happy, because I’m grieving, because I see it as a way to take care of my family, because I see it as a way to show and feel love, because on and on and on.
I know that is not a healthy way to look at food. I know that I need to do something. As I mentioned in the video, I’m currently in therapy to try to find out why I turn to food for all of those reasons. I’m getting there. Slowly.
I sense a collective eye roll whenever I talk about losing weight (even if it isn’t true), but here’s the other thing… I know, in my head, that I’m not a failure until I refuse to try again. As long as I keep trying, then I’m working towards achieving my weight loss goals. I only fail when I quit. I’ve never been much for quitting.
Jodi and I have decided to do a 90 day weight loss challenge. I’ve mentioned before that Jodi has lost over 125 pounds. She has managed to keep almost all of it off, but she did not get to her goal weight. We are going to be working together to support one another. We are going to try. Because sometimes that’s all you can do. Try.
PS You can read about mine and Jodi’s new weight loss journey at our new blog, Mom and Mommer.
I’m linking this vlog up with Mama Kat’s Vlogging Workshop. Be sure to stop by her place to check out all of the other great vlogs.
Ooh first comment! Can I just say how much I relate? I mean, from the depth of my soul down to the bottom of my toes. Even though it’s always been an issue, there have been times where the weight dropped off without me paying too much attention. I was just enjoying life – discovering exercise, falling in love, moving countries, etc. But it hasn’t been that way in the 12 years since I got married. It just keeps going up and up (apart from pregnancies when I lose from throwing up so much).
The only thing I’ve decided to differently for now is to start baking sugar free desserts. I want them to be on hand every time I need something, but I’m insulin resistant so I don’t want it to be sugar.
PS You’re beautiful and I like your accent.
Plus you have all of that great French food to dine on.
PS Thank you.
I can’t relate but as you were talking, I heard my husband speaking. He’s struggled with his weight since he was very young and hates the idea of “diets and exercise.” As his wife, I didn’t really know how to encourage him or if I even should do so. We both realized that what I did didn’t matter as long as his mentality towards food stayed the same. He’s been working on his relationship with food, without turning to diets, and has lost an insurmountable amount of weight. I helped by reminding him that all I wanted was for him to be happy and stick around to see his kids grow up. If that was at 200 or 300 pounds while having an active lifestyle, that’s fine with me. It seemed like the weight fell off along with the pressure of being a certain weight to please me and himself.
I’m visiting you from Mama Kat’s vlogging link-up. I hope you can check out my video for this week.
He is lucky to have you there supporting him.
I could hear you talk all day, Jennifer.
I’m glad to hear you’re tackling this the sensible way – finding the root of the food issues, having a support buddy in the journey, and really, just talking about it.
Best of luck to you!
Thanks. I think when I finally figure it all out I’ll be golden.
I with you… I can loose the weight I just need to know how not to find it again.
Exactly. Darn those pounds that always coming looking for me.
Having a buddy is a great idea. Someone to keep you accountable. At the risk of sounding preachy, I can tell you that diets don’t work. Lifestyle changes do. Nothing stuck until we made a commitment to changing our eating habits and staying active. We don’t have chips, sodas, sweets, or even crackers around the house. I stopped grazing on the kids’ lunches and snacks. And I had to sign up for events in order to commit to staying active. I’m running my first half marathon next month and plan to keep doing races to give myself a reason to get out and run. Since I’ve been running, I’m still hovering around the same weight, but my body has changed noticeably.
I know you can do this, but you have to be ready to completely change your way of thinking. I’m an emotional eater too, but the good thing is that now I go overboard on Pirate Booty or fruit. maybe the occasional handful of chocolate kisses.
I don’t think a long term diet plan will work, but I do think there are plans (like Weight Watchers) that can teach you how to make a long term lifestyle change. When you’ve been doing “wrong” for so long, you need someone to teach how to do it right. If that makes sense.
Stopping the emotional eating will be the hardest thing. I think once I get to the root of that the rest will fall into place.
Oh gosh, we ARE in each other’s brains right now! ACK!
I think you are amazing for trying to figure it out. This is so freaking TOUGH, as you know, I can relate. I think it’s unfair, that like other addictions, we cannot just get food out of our lives. We HAVE to have it in some capacity. I’m no expert (OBVIOUSLY) but while I was reading about all the ways you “use” food I was thinking that maybe if you could channel that in another way (and I’m sure you’ve been over something like this with your therapist…) I don’t know, it was just a thought I had. Like when you’re frustrated or sad, go for a short walk or do a few yoga stretches (seriously) instead of going to the pantry (yes, preaching to the choir over here…)
Anyway, I’m really glad you and Jodi are pairing up to try and TRY and try again. I’m there with you girls too… love you!
Yes. Let’s all just keep trying and never give up.
Hey! It’s been awhile since I’ve been here…love the new digs.
Iknow you can lose the weight, even if it’s one-tenth of a pound at a time. You are such a strong woman!!
Thank you and thank you!
You are completely right. It is the continued and renewed commitment to trying. You have to be willing to keep at it if that’s what you want. If nothing else, you have a hell of a support system from your friends in the computer.
I do have a pretty fantastic support system.
Getting to the root cause is a great idea. Like you, I have always had a struggle with weight. Sometimes I win, while others not so much. Guaranteed there is no eye rolling going on here! You are beautiful as you are. M
Thank you. I appreciate that.
I hear you. (And it’s a lot nicer to hear you with your lovely lilt than the judgmental voice in my head.) I’m the same way — I can lose, but haven’t been able to keep the weight off. I’d be healthier if I’d just stayed at a higher weight, I imagine, instead of going up and down. As I write, I’m supposed to be checking my local Weight Watchers’ schedule because I have been tiptoeing around going back. I think I’m going to have to become a leader to be successful long term… Best of luck to you and Jodi.
Next time that nasty voice starts up just picture it yelling at you with my accent.
I’ve been struggling to lose weight and the pounds just keep creeping up on me. Your vlog is so honest and straightforward. I’m looking forward to hearing more about your 90 day weight loss challenge.
And hey! I’m going to BlogHer ’13 too!
Yay! If you see me yell out me! You know, in a nice way.
What you said about turning to food for various reasons? That’s me. I am currently struggling to lose the rest of the baby weight and sometimes, it’s just so darn hard! I’m glad you’re working on this with someone else. I think having someone do it with you is a good motivator too.
Also? Your voice is so adorable!!
Jodi is a pretty good motivator. I have to admit.
I can take no credit for the voice.
I love this video! I felt like I was sitting right there with you folding laundry.
I’ve really turned a new leaf with myself in regards to food and wanting to eat a healthier (cleaner) diet and the longer I keep at it the more I’m convinced that the reason it’s so hard to stick to these changes is because food is addicting. Like full on Heroin addicting. It doesn’t turn us into crazy people, but it keeps us craving all the wrongs kinds of things. The further I get from the foods I’m trying to steer clear of, the less I’m craving them. I don’t know WHAT is in the food we’re eating that makes us love it SO much (it’s just FOOD), but I truly believe we’re addicted to it. THAT’S why it’s so HARD!!
Thanks. I’m the multi-tasking vlogger. Getting dressed, driving, folding laundry… my life is SO exciting.
I don’t know if food itself is addictive, or the stuff that is IN our food that is addictive. I’m thinking the latter. For instance, I don’t that sugar is addictive because I have horrible withdrawals when I try to stop eating it. Plus all of this crazy stuff they put in food now, like HFCS and all of the preservatives. What is that stuff really? A bunch of chemicals.
I can relate to you so much.
I actually was in Weight Watchers when I was in 5th grade!
Yeah, life long battle here so you are not alone.
If you want, you are welcome to join me at my “getting healthy” blog which is: http://weighin2010.blogspot.com/
I will walk with you if you will walk with me in all sorts of issues.
Hugs to you.
~Naila Moon
I was thin as a child. My weight started to creep up in high school. I’m sure it had something to do with hormones at the time.
I just love this post/video. The laundry folding (which I need to do) was awesome. It reminds me a little bit of the weight loss/staying healthy struggle. If I don’t do the laundry it can get piled up and overwhelming. But if I do a little bit every day, I am able to keep it manageable. Same with weight loss and healthy eating. If I don’t do a little bit every day, I get out of control.
Ooohhhh. Good analogy. Too bad I didn’t think of that while I was doing the video. That would have been a great tie in.
Learning why we do things is such an interesting process. I’ve made so much progress with my health coach and I’m so happy that learning to change my reaction to stress and find other ways to express my feelings. I’ve also found that since I started taking Vitamin D, my cravings have diminished. It might be a coincidence but I don’t think so.
Good luck on your challenge!!
I think it is really important to get to the root cause. I think it is awesome that you are working with someone to help you do that.
I don’t have the same relationship with food. In fact when I am stressed or depressed or angry or anxious I can’t eat. At all. Which is not great either.
I certainly weigh more than I would like (3 kids and age will do that), but I know it has more to do with my metabolism slowing down than with food issues.
I do see some food issues developing in my youngest. She definitely eats when she is bored. DEFINITELY. She also sometimes eats when she is upset. I recognize this and am working hard to redirect her without drawing attention to the whole food issue. But I am thankful that other people have spoken up about their food struggles so that I can help my daughter more.
And keep on talking about your food struggles. I think the more you talk the closer you come to discovering the root of all this.
It is so foreign for me to think of people that do not turn to food for emotional reasons. I so wish I could be that way. I wonder what makes some people like me and some like you.
Never give up. Promise?
Hey Jennifer, Love your blog, stumbled onto it from another…anyway first time commenter here. I have tried all those diets too, including the cabbage soup diet, the cookie diet, went to the gym, went walking for miles even joined Curves. Susan Powers, she was a burst of energy, wish that would have worked!
I’m 38, I’ve been struggling with weight my whole life. I can lose if I follow all the rules, I just can’t keep it off. About 7 years ago i got down to 180, I felt amazing I could shop in “normal” stores. I love food, I love to bake, I love to eat. I just had my first baby 9 months ago, I started out at 260 (5’9″) before I was pregnant. I went up to 297 with baby, she was born 11lbs, 3ozs., c-section. I was 253 after baby, now I’m at 263. I need to lose weight, I’m just STUCK! Something in me won’t let it go! And I know those 7 boxes of Girl Scout cookies I ate ALONE over 5 days sure didn’t help!
This is so genuine and relatable, Jennifer. And I love that you’re folding laundry while doing it.
I’m glad you are doing this with someone. I love you girl. I’ve lived with an eating disorder for 26 years. Food controls my whole life. I hate it. It should not have to be this way.
Never give up. You got this. xo