Gossip, continued {Creative Writing}

creative writing, Trifecta, Momma Made It Look Easy, hobbies, all about me, fictionThe hook snagged on the thick lily pad stalks as it was pulled to the bank of the pond.

“That’s a bitch.”

“What did you say?” Laroy cringed at the boy’s use of the curse he had learned while working by Laroy’s side. All he needed was Jake to utter something like that in front of Mrs. Caulfield. He didn’t want to think about the tongue lashing he would get as a result. That woman’s words could flay the hide off an alligator.

Jake looked at the ground, “Nuthin’.” He loved being outside with Laroy and away from all of those women that were always telling him what to do.

“That’s what I thought.” Laroy softened his tone as he added, “You better get on back to the house. It’s lunch time. Your momma will be looking for you.”

“Yes sir. Can I come back after lunch?”

Laroy heard the hope singing through the boy words. “If your momma says it’s alright.”

Jake took off running as Laroy gave the rope a hard tug, dislodging it, and pulling it to the bank. He removed the lily pad stalks stuck to the hook and threw them in the waiting trailer. After he was done he would lay them out to dry and then burn. It wasn’t the hardest job, but it had to be done before the plants took over and killed the pond.

He tossed the rope back in the pond. It snagged again. As Laroy pulled he could tell it wasn’t the weight of the plants holding it, but something stronger. “Dammit.” The last thing he wanted to do was go for a swim.

He backed the farm truck over to the pond and tied off the rope. He got back in the truck and started forward. When he felt the rope give, he stopped the truck and went back to the bank of the pond.

“What the hell?”

Why would a car bumper be at the bottom of the pond?


This week Trifecta picked the word bitch for their creative writing prompt. As always you have to use the third definition of the word in your post. For bitch that is, something that is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant.

This is a continuation from the story I wrote last week, Gossip. These are different characters in a different setting (obviously), and this is more background to the over all story. I hope y’all like it.

Be sure to go over to Trifecta and read some of the other posts. There are some really great writers that participate in the challenge.

photo credit: halseike via photopin cc


  1. Oooooh.
    Maggie S. recently posted…Do You Mind If I Pass?My Profile

  2. I remember a time when you hadn’t written fiction. Now look at you!! You’re awesome!! XO
    melissa recently posted…Reverse psychology: yesterday and todayMy Profile

  3. Suspenseful!
    TheKitchWitch recently posted…SMAM: Pepper Steak with Grilled Onions and Blue Cheese SauceMy Profile

  4. I love suspense & you have dne this masterfully-can’t wait to read the rest:-)o

  5. *done

  6. Wow. Really nicely written. Great imagery and dialogue.
    st recently posted…Tale Tues: The Pup Who Almost Ate a BrainMy Profile

  7. I like this. Really well done. Great story. :)
    Scriptor Obscura recently posted…GuiltMy Profile

  8. ooooh – there is more to this story . . . looking forward to your continuation. :)
    barbara recently posted…RelationshipsMy Profile

  9. Waiting for the explanation… a real hook this.
    Sandra Crook recently posted…The Finishing Touch (the speakeasy at yeah write, January 2013)My Profile

  10. Way to leave people guessing…
    KymmInBarcelona recently posted…Cars ‘n GirlsMy Profile

  11. I can’t wait to read more!
    I love well-written suspense and you did a great job with this! You can’t tell from reading your work that you’re newer to fiction!
    Rachael recently posted…A Final Act of Revenge, in 33 wordsMy Profile

  12. This is really good writing!
    deana recently posted…Well, maybe notMy Profile

  13. WOW! I really love the imagery here. Great job.

  14. I liked your story… very believable dialog, and I loved the third paragraph. Innocence to Mystery. Say, why would a car bumper be at the bottom of the pond?
    tedstrutz recently posted…Trifecta Writing Challenge: The CruciverbalistMy Profile

  15. Hey, wanted to let you know I responded to your branding/design inquiry. Sometimes I go to spam. Let me know if you got it:)
    Cynthia (NW Designs) recently posted…Sharon ProtheMy Profile

  16. I had no idea this was a continuation of another piece – it stands so well on its own. I love the way you describe the relationship between Jake and Laroy by their actions, not in words.
    Christine recently posted…Threading a NeedleMy Profile

  17. OBVIOUSLY it’s for good luck and in no way suggests any nefarious plots (:

  18. oh, you’ve hooked me too – I want to know about this important snag in the story…
    jody recently posted…NOW!My Profile

  19. LOVED – Combination of Tom Sawyer and Winter’s Bone

  20. That last line is such a great hook! looking forward to what happens next :)
    lexy recently posted…FoundationsMy Profile


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