Morgan, Part 2 {Red Writing Hood}

fiction, story, writing, writer, Around the Clock, Morgan, young adult, fun stuffThe neon sign glistening on the wet pavement provided just enough light for Morgan to see the dumpster peeking around the corner of the motel. She pulled the hood of her jacket tighter as she made a beeline for that darkened corner.

Once there, she pulled a bag filled with her essentials out of her hiking backpack and tossed the larger pack, bedroll, and tent into the trash. She hated to part with the items that had been with her during her escape, but she would draw too much attention carrying them around town. Besides, after tomorrow, she wouldn’t need them.

Morgan hugged the corner of the motel to keep out of the rain as she watched the parking lot. Surely someone would be leaving soon. This wasn’t the kind of place where guests stayed all night.

Bingo! Three rooms down the door cracked open. She started that way. As she reached the door, a man and woman stumbled out arm in arm. Morgan backed against the wall for them to pass. They didn’t even notice when she slid her foot across the threshold to stop the door from closing.

She heard giggling and doors slam as she slipped into the room and shut the door. After she made sure the blinds were closed, she turned on the bedside lamp and let out a sigh of relief when she saw the room key next to the phone. She also noticed that the prior occupants had not even bothered to turn down the blankets. Disgusting. At least the sheets would be clean.

Exhaustion was creeping in, but more than anything she wanted a hot shower. In the bathroom, she almost cried when she saw towels neatly stacked on the back of the toilet and a mini soap, shampoo, and conditioner on the side of the bathtub. Instead, she smiled and started stripping off her grimy clothes.

Running the water as hot as she could stand, Morgan stood under the shower breathing in the steam filled air wishing it could clean her inside as well as her outside. As the drops of liquid pelted away the filth, her control over her emotions washed away as well.

Closing her eyes she saw herself in another shower, pink tinted water swirling around the drain, as she scrubbed her hands with a nail brush to remove the evidence of what had happened down the hall.

Part Three

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This week the ladies at Write on Edge asked us to incorporate RAIN into our story for Red Writing Hood. I had not originally envisioned Morgan’s wait outside the motel to be a wet one, but I’m happy with the prompt because I like that the rain adds another hardship to her tale and provides a little more depth.

Sorry about the cliffhanger, but when the limit is only 400 words you either have to cut something or shorten it. I went with shortening it. It’s more fun that way.

Be sure to check out Part One, Part Two (written by Melissa at Rock and Drool), and Part Three.

photo credit: jpmatth via photopin cc

Comments

  1. I loved the contrast between the rain, a part of her world that was making her miserable and dirty and the shower which was stripping away not only the layers of filth but self as well.

    And the line about the sheets being clean was perfect.
    Whispatory (Jennifer) recently posted…When We MissMy Profile

    • Thanks. I know I haven’t put a lot of her personality into it yet, other than the fear, but she IS a teenager. I thought that line was pretty fitting.

  2. Like Jen, I really liked the way you contrasted the cold rain and the hot shower. The pacing here was really well done; I know there’s a cliffhanger, but it doesn’t feel rushed. This line really makes me wonder what’s going to happen …

    Besides, after tomorrow, she wouldn’t need them.
    angela recently posted…Just After DawnMy Profile

    • Yay! It makes me so happy when I do something like that and y’all get it and it just works. Makes me feel like I know what I’m doing. :)

  3. I enjoyed your story. I didn’t mind the cliffhanger. Have you noticed how many chapters in novels end that way —prompting readers to start the next chapter? That is what makes for a good page-turner.
    The same with TV dramas —they often have an intriguing plot element immediately before a commercial. Even the news gives an interesting tidbit of what will be revealed in the next segment.
    CJ recently posted…RAIN DANCE – Short FictionMy Profile

  4. Awesome, I loved the intrigue, you set this up perfectly to insist the reader turn the page.
    Jeanelaine recently posted…Don’t lie to MamaMy Profile

  5. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Trackbacks

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